Joy Blog

30 Sep, 2024   •   Family   •   Lessons Lived And Learned   •   Mindset Matters

A Hard Working Love Story

Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m a sucker for a good love story.

I love romantic comedies, happy endings and the cheesier you deem it, the more endearing I find it.

I also, however, wish one bad break up on everyone because I believe that you need to go through the bad to appreciate the good.

Like kissing a few frogs before you find your prince.

I believe we really don’t know how good we have it, until we see the flip side and this weekend that story rang true for my Aunt Kim and Uncle Mark.

Their love story is a true made for television, Hallmark tale that I truly thought only existed in movie scripts.

The met, they fell in love, they married, they broke-up and decades later they got back together again.

Seems Hallmark right?  But it’s actually a new family tale to be told for years to come.

Way back on June 7th 1980, my Aunt and Uncle tied the knot.  Ten years and two children later they separated, finally divorcing in 1996.

They were apart for twenty-one years. During which time my Uncle remarried, my Aunt kissed a few frogs, one of which resulted in a beautiful daughter, and although their lives were separate, they always co-parented, meeting for coffees and staying involved in the happenings of each other’s lives.

Forty-four years after exchanging vows the first time, they said “I Do” again; but this time those three little letters and two little words held a lot more meaning.

Many say that you need to live through the storm to appreciate the rainbow on the other end, and in the case of this love story, that couldn’t be more accurate.

Their storm was a tragic one which involved the passing of my cousin and their son, Matthew.

His death hurt deep and strong and yet somewhere amidst that brutal grief it brought the two people who created him back together.

Perhaps first it was so they could cling to each other in a time of need, to hold on to someone who hurt as badly as the other and who understood the dismal reality they were living in.

But as every rose has a thorn, that grief brought with it love and that love brought with it a new light that carried them through the darkness.

Grief has a funny way of giving you a new perspective.

Their love story is a testament to the fact that relationships are work.

That with the good, there will be bad.

With the ups, there will be downs.

And when you think it’s easier to give up and let go… your heart never forgets.

It’s often easier to walk away.  It’s harder to stay.

I know a few friends who married their first loves.  I used to boo-hoo that thinking, “how could you possibly marry the first person you ever loved when you don’t really know what else is out there?”.

But maybe those relationships last because you grow together.

Maybe they last because you are committed to making it last, rather than looking for greener grass and shinier trophies.

Maybe, just maybe, relationships that are tested the hardest and cut the deepest, live the longest because they allow you to grow, both alone and together, and like all living things, if we don’t grow… we die.

The grass grows greener where you water it.

Truth and exclamation point.

Relationships take work.

I certainly spent time with my share of frogs, but I also now see, from being in a dedicated relationship, that the tough times have made us stronger, the hard times have made me wiser and where I once would have packed it in and ran … I choose to put in the work and stay because for us, the harder we work, the stronger we get. Together.

Life happens.

You change, they change and inevitably the relationships changes too.

It was refreshing, after more than two decades of living apart and having their own lives, that my Aunt and Uncle made it official again. They did heavy duty counselling, integrating their past, their grief and both the old and new versions of themselves into a love story that has now proven to stand the test of time.

So this weekend, before their closest friends and family, many of whom gathered that day forty-four years ago on the first go-around, My Aunt and Uncle stood before each other  and pledged a new, deeper, stronger, wiser, more experienced, more tested, more emotional love to each other and man oh man, if Hallmark comes knocking, that’s the kind of real love story we should all be watching.

We’ve Got This!

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