Is there such a thing as mom burnout because if that’s a diagnosis, I’d like to be prescribed 5 days alone, with hot, healthy meals cooked for me, all housework and laundry done upon my return, bubbly warm baths and a nice massage to start each day and end each night.
Seriously though if you are a Mom flying through these last few months of school and activities I give you a standing ovation and I’m sewing you a cape to boast your accomplishments.
Motherhood is not for wimps and these last few months have paid tribute to that.
I can only speak for myself but wow do the month’s of April, May and June pay a toll on me.
I feel like every day I’m running a marathon where I can’t catch my breath or get ahead.
There are forms to sign, trips to volunteer for, dance competitons taking up almost every weekend, school soccer tournaments, communions, birthdays and every day on my handwritten calendar is marked up with something.
I also feel this way mid-December wondering when I will find time to attend all of the holiday parties, bake the cookies, buy the gifts, wrap the gifts, visit Santa, write the lists, do all the things while somehow making it magical…but I do.
I know that this too shall pass and one day when my house sits clean and empty and quiet, I will miss these times, but man oh man, the burnout is real.
Today I had a little breakdown, as every mother does, whether we admit to it or not, but those days where your head is circling through a list 500 items long, your children are asking you questions, your husband is asking about the schedule for the 14th time, your signing school forms for a trip that you feel guilty not being able to volunteer for, all while you’re packing lunches and trying to keep the dog from jumping up on the counter and scavenging something he shouldn’t.
And somewhere in all of that chaos, you snap.
You yell, you maybe say things you shouldn’t, you get teary and emotional and your family sits staring at you wondering what is wrong with Mommy.
The superhero of the family who does all the things, sometimes backwards and in high heels, always checking off lists and making things happen, while sometimes, Mommy just needs a break too.
Sometimes Mommy would like to just sit still, alone with her own thoughts, a glass of wine or a good book.
Sometimes Mommy wants to escape down into the basement and throw things and punch at things because she is human too.
Sometimes she wants to sit on her own mother’s lap and hash out the day while being cuddled and soothed and told that things will all work out.
Sometimes she just needs a hug.
Or a good pep talk.
Or an hour on a patio with her best friend.
As much as she thinks she has it all together and is holding things down, all while wearing a smile and wrapping it all up with a perfectly tied bowe… sometimes she is spiralling.
Sometimes she is trying to juggle all of the balls, not realizing that many are falling and there is no time or space to pick them up.
Sometimes mom is just tired.
Sometimes things aren’t going to be perfect, things are going to get missed, tables are not gonna get dusted, laundry will sit in the dryer for a week, forms will get lost in a pile of recycling and you know what?
That’s okay.
This morning while putting dishes away I sent a voice note to my sister-in-law that ended up being an emotional plea. They are headed down this weekend as they live 6 hours away for a soccer tournament and due to our overloaded busy schedules we don’t see eachother often. There is nothing I want more than to sit on the sidelines and cheer on my niece but our schedule won’t allow it and that makes me sad.
Are we too busy going and doing that we are missing the point? Am I juggling too much?
As I ponder this, my phone rings and I think it’s going to be my mom to talk me off the ledge, as my sister-in-law has probably called her to tell her about the weepy message I left and my mom is worried… but No.
It was Mom but she was just calling to tell me that I was doing a great job. That she knows the days feel busy right now, but that all will be okay.
I needed her voice.
We carry a lot and sometimes kind words, a little help and a pep talk make the load lighter.
We will miss this, at least that is what I keep telling myself because I know it’s true.
These times too shall pass. Tough times make tough people.
Juggling is a skill that takes years of practice so if we drop some balls along the way… meh, we’re human.
Hang on mamas,
We’ve Got This
@half_full_most_days