We are three weeks out from Christmas and in my household that equals mayhem.
Our youngest is up at 6am as she is just so excited to find our Elf that the sound of her scampering feet and little giggles mean that the entire household is up at 6am.
Some days I want to throw the pillow over my head and stay wrapped up in the blankets for five minutes more but my daughter’s excitement and my mom’s wise words repeating in my head, ‘This too shall pass’, force me to hop out of bed, tie up my robe and hit the ground running.
But the early morning December wake-ups are just half of it. There’s the list making and buying. The Santa visits and photos. The co-ordinated outfits for the Christmas concert. The party planning, food prep, Santa experiences and the card printing and mailing; which yes I still old-fashionedly do because I love this tradition and will send cards until stamps become obsolete…
I do it to myself. I feel like Clark Griswold proclaiming that we shall have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas ever, filling our calendars with Christmas cheer and all the merry that can be found.
But I do it because I love Christmas. I love tradition and magic and joy.
All things that the Christmas season brings, so as a mom I feel I have to create that tradition and magic and joy and sometimes… I overdo it.
I feel I need to fill their hearts with holiday cheer registering for every Christmas event marketed to me because the season is short and I want it to last forever in their memories.
But I was missing the point.
Yesterday we had a skip day, my daughter had an appointment so I decided to make a day of it. We headed into Niagara Falls for a day filled with wonder; an ice show with glitzy costumes and excitement, from dancers and skaters, to singers and acrobats. They sang and danced to every Christmas classic ever made and you couldn’t help but smile and sing-along. No one in that room left without feeling the magic of the holidays and I do admit that as the narrator said his parting words my eyes became misty.
I cannot remember exactly what he said but it went along the lines of “Christmas hits differently for everyone as for many it’s a time of joy, whereas for others it’s a lonely time. “
Lonely … is a word that scares me. The thought of Christmas around a table for one with no parties to attend or sites to seen is probably my greatest nightmare.
I can’t imagine a Christmas alone and yet for so many this is a reality.
It grounded me as I watched the magic flicker through my children’s eyes as they sang along to the songs with my mom joining their chorus and it hit me with dread that one day I wouldn’t have this.
Sad reality, I won’t have my mom forever, my kids will be grown and gone, but I think I’m hopeful that I’m planting enough joy and cheer into their memory banks that they will always come home for Christmas.
So, this morning as I sat at my computer drinking tea out of my favourite mug that my oldest daughter gave me, which reads “There’s No Place Like Home”, I smiled and sighed at the same time.
For that right there is it. A house isn’t a home until it’s filled with love and hopefully I’ve given enough of that… that ‘home for the holidays’ will always be somewhere they want to come.
It won’t be the matching sweaters, or the perfectly bearded Santa in their photos or the long list of holiday experiences that we have seen.
Sure those will be remembered and hopefully fondly, but more than that I hope that Christmas is a feeling they get in their hearts that make them think of home.
My mom sure did a great job of this as I’ve carried on so many of the traditions I grew up with. My Christmas tree is a mismatched testament to every memory we’ve created as each ornament is perfectly placed representing a memory made.
As I sit in my quiet house this morning loving the glow of the twinkling lights and Santa hats and antlers everywhere I take it all in.
I am the creator of the magic that my children will remember.
That is a hefty title to bear and perhaps that is why I myself, and probably most moms, feel the need to overdo it.
It is their belief in magic, the wonder and joy in their eyes and the excitement and anticipation that make it more merry.
We create that.
So as we all pack our calendars, wrap our packages and cross off our lists, let’s all remember that little eyes are watching and that is how traditions are made and memories are created.
It’s a lot. We’re tired, but when the magic we are creating gets passed down and we are invited to sit around our children’s tables in our old age watching them hustle around creating their own magic… that is where the good stuff lives.
We don’t know what next year holds, what tomorrow looks like or when the magic will end.
So I’m gonna stick at it.
But if the Christmas morning pajamas don’t match, the gingerbread house collapses, an item on the list doesn’t get purchased or I can’t make it to the ‘it’ festival of the season…. Meh… it won’t matter.
All I can do… is all I can do… and all I can do… is enough.
It’s always enough if the right intention is there, so happy late night wrapping my friends; We’ve Got This.
And P.S. – If you don’t have it all together or feel overwhelmed or lonely… Please call 988 in Canada as your feelings are always important and valid. It’s not easy!
@half_full_most_days